6. GIRLS

Ok, first thing, I have no idea what the deal is with these "chicks". I don't know if you know how quite unnerving it is to be innocently chatting to your friends when a large group of girls stand right opposite you and all start giggling. I mean, my hair was brushed… yea! so what were they giggling about? I like playing Basket Ball, that doesn't mean I can, it just means I do. So as usual I'm in the courts with the usual houligans when these two girls walk up to my friend. They are in the year below us and they are smiling. I knew straight away they were up to something. They start talking to him and after a while he gets a phone call. (Strictly speaking you're not allowed phones in school but hey, you're only there once.) After this phone call he comes to me and starts telling me how annoying these girls are when, oh oh, they see he is off the phone. They drag him off and he gives me the look which someone might give you after being called up to sing in assembly. Well, I could have gone to save him, but Basket Ball was so much closer. After a while he storms off. Wandering what these girls could have done which was so dispicably terrible I walk after him. However, before I reach him these two girls come to me. I look for an escape route but I'm cornered, done for, finished. "HIII," they say in that high pitched squeaky spine chilling voice. So I'm thinking, 'Oh my god, quick, think of something witty to say.' "Ur, I don't know you." Well that worked like a charm. They both giggle and move in. "Oh no, what do I do," I think "What did I say wrong, whats funny, oh my god, i'm sure I did my flies up this morning."
     "I know but we're coming to talk to you." This called for extreme evasive action, "I don't know you, I think you should shush." This time it worked, I was being both rude and arrogant, how could it not? They look at each other, give me the dirtiest look you can think of and walk off, one of them saying, "I think I know his mum." Well, that I just did not get. Oh the bafflment of it all. I have to say, that was the strangest threat I ever heard. I never asked my friend what they said to him, I don't know why. Probably just the fact that they were both clearly insane and it was probably a long story.

Another thing, do you have any idea what girls talk about? A mere 5 minutes of listening to a group of fifteen year old girls is enough to drive you incurable insane. Ok, I'm eating my lunch, and you know how selfconcious you get when somebody is watching you eat. Well, i'm eating a ham sandwhich when a group of girls walk up to me. "HI, Jason,"
      "Oo lo uhg ucst ating gulp ahem, hello," Well that was bound to impress them, I must have sounded so cool! I kept a low profile after that and let them get on with the talking. (Why don't you try eating a ham sandwhich some time and try to look cool.) First subject, a popular boy band ive never heard of. "Oh my goood, Jay is just so cute,"
     "OHH I know, look at his dress sense he really knows how to impress a girl." Well I'm just nodding wandering why school uniforms can't have that effect when one says, "Oh yea and Ken has such a cute ass." Nod, nod, no wait, I don't want to agree with that. To late. Well then I was the topic, it was great, I had so much fun doing the "Gay Test" from some queer girly magazine. I was a nervous wreck by the end of it as well as a laughing stock. Who could have known girls could get so much enjoyment from a magazine?